I was in my car when I heard of the news that another Korean actor committed suicide. I do not know why but whenever I heard or read of a person's demise due to suicide, I felt disturbed all over. I thought I was angry that these people just gave up their life when there are so many others that have to fight so hard just to breath. But another side of me also realise that I felt for them. I am sorry that they did not manage to hold on just a little longer. If they had just grit their teeth and let the minute or the seconds past, things would have been ok. I know because I'd often pass through the darkest hours and live through to see another day to remind myself that there is a purpose for my existence here. If not for myself, then for my closest family, my loved ones. And if I have more strength, I would try to extend my love for those who needed me.
Some people say suicide is selfish. Yes because the act left a void and aches in the hearts' of those who loved us. But at times, it is the helplessness, the feeling that they have failed their loved ones that drove them to cross that boundary. The line that's drawn between the 2 extremes is so vague that you might just overstep. And it was at those moments of insanity or sensitivity that we lose the grip of life. That's when the fragile grains of life slip through our fingers...
It's hard to choose to live, just as hard for those who choose to leave the living. It's even harder to see the pain of those that they leave behind. For those who might face the same demons at the darkest hours, reflect the faces of your loved ones to draw strength to fight the demons in your heart. For those who lost their loved ones in suicides, please forgive them and understand that there are just times that they themselves were lost and they did not know what they were doing until it was too late. And for those who might have friends or loved ones that are fighting the demons, all you can do is love them and hope that your love will shine through to their hearts. And for the rest of the world, maybe just a little understanding.
The world is a harsh place. Life is hard. If you are facing the demons of love and hatred, anger and confusion. Try your best to love yourself. Forgive yourself. And let that feeling flow to others. Forgive them for their harsh ignorance of your fragile soul. Or just let the song Vincent soothe your heartaches, but don't loose the grip. Don Mclean was right to sing that "they don't understand.. and they never will.."
