May you be well and happy!

I kept hearing it calling out. It’s already the second day and no help seem to come about.
I have just finish spring cleaning my little guppies house. They’ve been really busy these past months. Baby guppies kept coming and I have to source for a bigger house for them. From the original 5, they dwindled to 2 due to bird and lizard attacks. Then, 6 little guppies came into our view. As the weeks passed, we saw additional 6 smaller guppies joining the family. Initially, I dare not wash the bowl, afraid that I might pour out the little guppies while doing my cleaning and thus causing them early demise. We finally move them over to 2 different bowls yesterday.
When all was finally cleaned and cleared, I heard it calling again. I can stand it no longer. I ask Ben to allow me to go to the poor fellow. He agreed. I quickly grabbed my beautiful transparent umbrella while Ben went for the keys. We went searching and found it blind and oh so small. Ben picked it up and remarked that it may be blind. I looked around and couldn’t find any relatives of this little fellow. We brought it home and decided to warm some fresh milk for it. Its blindness confirmed, as we saw how the little fellow kept missing the bowl of milk and depended solely on smell and hearing. Worse still, the little fellow is too young that it can’t even lick the milk. Luckily I have some cat food stocked up for situation like this. I squeeze out the soft tuna and salmon meat and the fellow seemed to love it. We tried various ways to feed it some milk. We tried pouring some milk into the rubber hand glove and poke a tiny hole at the tip of the finger to induce the little fellow to suck. But the fellow doesn’t seem to like it. We can’t keep her as she still needs her mother. After much deliberation, we decided to put her in a small little box cushioned with rags and then placed them in a bigger box, so that it won’t wander off and got knocked off by cars. The fellow must have felt safe and warm because it went to sleep and didn’t wake up the entire evening (when we went to check on it in the evening and night).
Today morning, I have poured out a small amount of milk and some more tuna, just in case its mom has not come to claim it. But glad to say that all’s well ends well. The little fellow has been fetched by its mom. Anyway, we just leave the milk and tuna there, in case mommy needs to eat.
Dear little kitty, may you be well and happy. May you be free from enmity and danger. May you be free from suffering.

Baby 101

How do you know you are pregnant? Nope. Do not believe all you see in the tv. There were no faintings, vomittings, or nauseating moments. Everything felt alright. Maybe a little sleepy. Okay! A lot more sleepier, but given my sleepy-head nature, I never gave much thought about it.

But I kept missing my menstruation. The first month, it was year end, and I was busy wrapping up my work. Maybe it was just stress. The second month, it was a company trip and another team building program. Maybe it was the travelling and stress. The third month, nothing. Something is not right here. Come to think of it, I have been having some rather funny cravings. For once, I never like pineapples. But these days, I'd been having them almost daily. A change in tastebuds? Maybe yes, maybe no.

Ben? He thought nothing of it, which I did, initially. But 3 months? I decided to buy one of those off-the-shelf one-step testing kit. But I kept forgetting to do the test, until one early morning. Ben had told me to wake him up when I am doing the test, so I did (why let him enjoy the sleep, while I waited anxiously alone, right?). The result? Positive.

Oh.......my! Now I have nothing against children. In fact, I adopted one myself (www.worldvision.com.my). But having one of my own? That's a real big step. For one, I am allergic to most medicine. I am not sure if I am able to give birth safely. Two, I am a perfectionist. I am too serious about life that I may bog down my child's mind with all the life issues. Three, I had been a real headache to my dad when I was growing up. I knew the kind of headache he had and I did not intend to inherit them. So I told myself, this is a cheap testing kit that is prone to errors. Better check it out with a real specialist.

We are real procastinators. It took us another week to finally meet up with a gynae. We met Dr Lim and told him about our situation. He asked me to lie down on the bed and he started squeezing some cold gel on my tummy. Then he put this cold plastic scanner or something on my tummy and started free-wheeling around my lower abdomen, while his eyes focussing on a black & white tv screen. Then he put his index fingers on the screen and showed us a round object.

"You see this?" he asked. We nodded. "That's your baby there. And this blinking white dot?", we nodded again. "That's your baby's heart beat."

And the waves of shock and numbness begins...