But I kept missing my menstruation. The first month, it was year end, and I was busy wrapping up my work. Maybe it was just stress. The second month, it was a company trip and another team building program. Maybe it was the travelling and stress. The third month, nothing. Something is not right here. Come to think of it, I have been having some rather funny cravings. For once, I never like pineapples. But these days, I'd been having them almost daily. A change in tastebuds? Maybe yes, maybe no.
Ben? He thought nothing of it, which I did, initially. But 3 months? I decided to buy one of those off-the-shelf one-step testing kit. But I kept forgetting to do the test, until one early morning. Ben had told me to wake him up when I am doing the test, so I did (why let him enjoy the sleep, while I waited anxiously alone, right?). The result? Positive.
Oh.......my! Now I have nothing against children. In fact, I adopted one myself (www.worldvision.com.my). But having one of my own? That's a real big step. For one, I am allergic to most medicine. I am not sure if I am able to give birth safely. Two, I am a perfectionist. I am too serious about life that I may bog down my child's mind with all the life issues. Three, I had been a real headache to my dad when I was growing up. I knew the kind of headache he had and I did not intend to inherit them. So I told myself, this is a cheap testing kit that is prone to errors. Better check it out with a real specialist.
We are real procastinators. It took us another week to finally meet up with a gynae. We met Dr Lim and told him about our situation. He asked me to lie down on the bed and he started squeezing some cold gel on my tummy. Then he put this cold plastic scanner or something on my tummy and started free-wheeling around my lower abdomen, while his eyes focussing on a black & white tv screen. Then he put his index fingers on the screen and showed us a round object.
"You see this?" he asked. We nodded. "That's your baby there. And this blinking white dot?", we nodded again. "That's your baby's heart beat."
And the waves of shock and numbness begins...