Don't let go...

My fellow human dwellers of the earth;

Is the current economic situation hogging your mind, bringing your spirit down?

Are you feeling hopeless and wished you have more?

I am thankful that I can breathe easily now.

My fellow human dwellers of the earth;

Is the cold and unfriendly world giving you shivers, tearing your heart apart?

Do you think the world has no more hope?

I am thankful that I can see clearer now.

There are many things that could happen to me any minute now,

But I am thankful I am still able to source my own supply/happiness.

Things may look gloom,

But even if there is just a glimmer of hope,

Don't let go...

Coco Wang is a comic strip artist that has created a blog on http://earthquakestrips.blogspot.com paying tribute to many heroes and sacrifices that we were not sure we were capable of.

The incidents in China is heartbreaking, and at the same time inspiring. Thank you for giving me hope. May you be well and happy..

Baby 105 : Ah... I think I am getting it!

Its the head. Doc says too late to take the whole pic as the baby is really big now. Ow...

After all the knocks and turns, I now feel better. Maybe I am in my second trimester, which is supposed to be the most comfortable period of the entire pregnancy, so I feel less strain. Or maybe the training worked so well that it already forms part of my life now. I am simply used to asking Ben "Can I eat this? / Can I do this?". I am also more used to having people opening doors for me and offering me to go first.

Gosh.. Come to think of it, now I know how my mom managed to wake up early in the morning, be so very patient with our antics and remain strong. Well, nowadays, I tend to wake up 4 or 5 in the morning. Not by choice, but I get so tired that I would sleep early and I couldn't shut my eyes after 7 hours of sleep. Funny, but I used that time to cook up some cakes and bread in the morning so that Ben could bring it to work.

And how can I not develop patience when I am so used to people bugging me with unwanted queries, advice and meddling. I mean, what's the point of getting upset when you know that deep down they really really meant good (they just don't realise how annoying they are :P).

And now that you know a life depended on you. You realise that you are not living for yourself anymore.

Nothing is going to bring me down for someone is looking up on me. I love you too!

Baby 104 : You think you'll get used to it. Think again!

Do I sound like I am scaring you? Sorry, not my intention at all. But it did shocked me many times over and scare me once in a while.

What do I mean? As your body hormone changes, many things occur outside your control.

• I get nose block that disturb my sleep.
• I get very bad lower back pain that sometimes getting up is such a task.
• I get severe headache that lasts for days.
• I get so tired that I could just doze off, even though I had enough sleep.

Some people said I am lucky I did not have morning sickness. Maybe yes, but I believe those other problems would have fully compensated the commonly suffered morning sickness.

Then when I was 4-5 months, I went travelling. They say this is the safest time (the 2nd trimester). But I had dizzy spells. It came like a whirlwind of hot air from bottom of my feet and shot up to my head in a nick of time. My knees buckled and I automatically lost balance. Never had this kind of feeling before. Real scary experience.

The second time I felt that dizziness coming, I tried to take deep breath as I thought oxygen should help. The moment I drew in my breath, I almost lost consciousness. Scared me the second time.

Luckily, I didn't suffer that again thereafter. I supposed it is the wind in my body that makes me nauseous and dizzy. But I was really thankful, Aunty Har was there beside me when it happened. Or else I would have fell from the stairs. Bless her!

Baby 103 : The numbing effect will go away when the drilling starts

Whoever said that you will glow and enjoy your pregnancy must be really selfless. I am no angel. I felt so miserable having to give up so many things so early in my pregnancy. For goodness sake, I have a lifetime of giving up to do. I wish people around me would give me a break now before I lose the opportunity to choose what’s left of my choice lifestyle.

Top 5 things I hate:

1. Forbidding me from certain type of food – Doctors have already assured that any type of food in moderation is ok, but not according to all the sudden new dietitians/experts around you.


2. Forbidding me from handiwork – Being independent soul that I lived for, it is very frustrating to be ordered to stay put and not allowed to get my hands on to any handiwork.


3. Forbidding me from moving freely – I am free spirited. I walk fast with a hint of skip when I am focused. I jump when I am in joy. I love stretching lazily when I’m on bed. And now I have to walk, sit and lay down like a snail.


4. Forbidding me from my emotional release – I am a direct person. I am passionate and my feelings shows for everyone to see. But now, I am told to stay calm so that my mood will not aggravate the baby.


5. Bodily changes that deny me my true self – I became so tired all the time. I used to be energetic even if I have not had a wink for the past 24 hours. Now I could simply doze off while reading a book, even though I have just woken up less than 2 hours ago. My mind is in constant fogginess that I need time to respond to queries. I became dumb!
   

No wonder everyone says mothers are selfless. They are because they were forced to. Trainings start from day 1 the announcement on pregnancy was made. And so the drill begins.

My guppies update

Remember my guppies? Now it is a family of 14. It was amazing to find new baby guppies. And very relaxing to watch them play/swim. Now one of our daily routine when reach home is to watch the little guppies and make a head count, just to make sure none of them gone missing (bird and lizard had been attacking our fishes). We are hoping to train them to learn to hide underneath the water plants by feeding them around that area.

Can you see them? One baby is at the top left of the bowl, and the other at the top right of the bowl. It's really difficult to catch them in film. After 30 over photos taken, this is the clearest. The rest are a blur of shadows.

Baby 102 : Swallowing the numbing shock

If you think that decision to have a baby is just a one-off decision of your own, then you are very wrong. Yes, you might be the carrier, but if you have conscience, you know that decision is never in your hands.
The moment Ben saw the moving hands, the big head and the pulsating heartbeats on the ultrasound screen, he never stop grinning. The irritating-cum-lovely grin kept widening and pulling strings in my heart. Ben loves baby, but he never pushes me to have one. Guess nature has been giving him a helping hand.
Then, there were all the family members from both sides. Everyone laughed and rejoiced at the news, except for my sister. Maybe because we are very close with each other, she is the only person that felt the same numbing emptiness like I do. We were the only 2 persons firmly nailed on the ground, whilst the surrounding rest were on cloud nine.
So decision was not difficult, as I love to see everyone so happy. But being such a serious person that I am, I did a lot of calculations and considerations on a totally new set of game in our future (it is no more my future). I have to admit that the future looks unnerving to me. But as much as I dreaded the 180° change in my life, the beating heart within me has already hold me on my new bearings. Guess there is no turning back now.

May you be well and happy!

I kept hearing it calling out. It’s already the second day and no help seem to come about.
I have just finish spring cleaning my little guppies house. They’ve been really busy these past months. Baby guppies kept coming and I have to source for a bigger house for them. From the original 5, they dwindled to 2 due to bird and lizard attacks. Then, 6 little guppies came into our view. As the weeks passed, we saw additional 6 smaller guppies joining the family. Initially, I dare not wash the bowl, afraid that I might pour out the little guppies while doing my cleaning and thus causing them early demise. We finally move them over to 2 different bowls yesterday.
When all was finally cleaned and cleared, I heard it calling again. I can stand it no longer. I ask Ben to allow me to go to the poor fellow. He agreed. I quickly grabbed my beautiful transparent umbrella while Ben went for the keys. We went searching and found it blind and oh so small. Ben picked it up and remarked that it may be blind. I looked around and couldn’t find any relatives of this little fellow. We brought it home and decided to warm some fresh milk for it. Its blindness confirmed, as we saw how the little fellow kept missing the bowl of milk and depended solely on smell and hearing. Worse still, the little fellow is too young that it can’t even lick the milk. Luckily I have some cat food stocked up for situation like this. I squeeze out the soft tuna and salmon meat and the fellow seemed to love it. We tried various ways to feed it some milk. We tried pouring some milk into the rubber hand glove and poke a tiny hole at the tip of the finger to induce the little fellow to suck. But the fellow doesn’t seem to like it. We can’t keep her as she still needs her mother. After much deliberation, we decided to put her in a small little box cushioned with rags and then placed them in a bigger box, so that it won’t wander off and got knocked off by cars. The fellow must have felt safe and warm because it went to sleep and didn’t wake up the entire evening (when we went to check on it in the evening and night).
Today morning, I have poured out a small amount of milk and some more tuna, just in case its mom has not come to claim it. But glad to say that all’s well ends well. The little fellow has been fetched by its mom. Anyway, we just leave the milk and tuna there, in case mommy needs to eat.
Dear little kitty, may you be well and happy. May you be free from enmity and danger. May you be free from suffering.